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Chapter 18
“Ugh, it hurts…”
“I’m sorry, but please bear with it.”
After entering the trenches, I left Rodri to keep an eye on the surrounding area and began treating Senior Gray.
Both his leg and left arm were severely injured.
Since large blood vessels had ruptured in both, I had no choice but to cauterize the flesh with a burner to stop the bleeding.
The nerves had to be burned as well, so the aftereffects would likely make it difficult to move, but this was the maximum treatment I could offer given that I couldn’t use healing magic.
“Well then, Touri. Could you wedge my gun in that gap in the sandbags?”
“Like this?”
“Yeah, that’s it. Now stack another sandbag on top…”
After finishing Senior Gray’s treatment, I started fixing the gun according to his instructions.
He can no longer fire a gun with both hands. Rodri is doing his best as a rookie, staying behind sandbags and keeping watch.
Thus, the task of securing the gun in the direction from which the enemy might come fell to me.
“Thanks, this will do. Touri, just hide behind me from now on.”
“Thank you very much, Senior.”
Looking at my clumsy temporary gun mount, Senior Gray smiled with satisfaction.
Hmm, I should have learned how to do this beforehand.
Though Gray-senpai said it was good, it didn’t turn out very well perhaps due to my clumsiness.
“Hey, Senior Gray, don’t you have another grenade?”
“Don’t have one, and even if I did, I wouldn’t give it to you. You were told to defend the base, so why do you want to attack?”
Even while waiting for the enemy, Rodri was brimming with fighting spirit.
Didn’t he just blow that place up a little while ago? Maybe he isn’t satisfied yet.
“Hmm, then I guess I’ll be killed by the Platoon Leader.”
“Why do you have such a strong desire to kill, Rodri?”
“Obviously it’s because I hate the enemy, you brat.”
Rodri answered my question with a gleam in his eyes.
Because he hates the enemy, huh?
“Hey, have you ever had someone important to you killed by those Sabbatians?”
“…If I had to say, it would be a comrade from before.”
“Well, that’s enough of a reason to want to kill the enemy.”
A reason to kill the enemy.
I had never even thought about that.
After all, I’m a medic. I’ve never been in a position to kill someone directly.
But…
“You need to have a reason to kill your enemies, otherwise you’ll hesitate and lose your life when the time comes.”
“Wow, Rodri. Even though you’re a rookie, you still talk like you’ve seen everything.”
“That’s what my platoon leader told me in my previous platoon, Senior Gray. He was a veteran with a higher rank than you.”
“I see.”
For infantrymen who must take the lives of their enemies, having a “reason to kill” must be very important.
“That senior was a lot more reliable than someone who’s lying here all battered and half-dead.”
“Good grief, what an unlikable kid.”
Senior Gray listened to Rodri’s nasty remark with a wry smile.
When the time comes, for example, when there’s an enemy right in front of me and I’m the only one able to kill that enemy.
Will I really be able to kill them without hesitation?
“…”
“Well, Touri doesn’t need that kind of resolve.”
“Huh? Even medics should have killing intent.”
Salsa was killed by a grenade thrown by the enemy.
That was a very sad incident, Even now, I sometimes dream of Salsa’s lifeless face.
I’ve been on the brink of death myself several times. There were times when enemies swung their swords down on me with clear intent to kill me.
“I…”
But why is it that I don’t feel strong hatred towards enemy soldiers?
I often find myself mourning the deaths of my allies more than resenting the enemy.
In fact, sometimes… I even feel sadness for the enemy soldiers dying in large numbers.
“I’m not very good at that sort of thing…”
“Haa. You cowardly wimp.”
Based on my experience in game, I mistakenly believed that I would become an excellent soldier, but…
It seems I’ve developed a strong aversion to killing because of my values from my previous life.
Perhaps it’s that I was never suited to be a soldier in the first place.
Just as I was feeling down after thinking that, Senior Gray suddenly patted me on the head.
“Hey, Rodri. Do you know what kind of people become medics?”
“Huh? I don’t know.”
“They say that the aptitude for healing magic appears more strongly when the feeling of wanting to harm others is weaker than the feeling of caring for others.”
It’s just a rumor, but Senior Gray laughed and continued.
“Touri, I think with your personality, you’re just not suited to hate people.”
“That’s…”
“You don’t need to have the resolve to kill someone. Us brutes will protect you.”
By nature, I’m not good at hating people.
There was something about Senior Gray’s words that struck a chord with me.
That’s right. I really do have a hard time hating someone.
Platoon Leader Garback is extremely violent and often unreasonable, and Private Second Class Naridome assaulted me while I was sleeping.
But I don’t even feel much hatred towards them.
…I do feel fear, though.
“Hmph, you’re just a coward.”
“Yes, that’s true… I’m quite a coward.”
“Tch.”
I get scared easily. I became very aware of that fact when I came to this battlefield.
I’m afraid of getting hurt, so I don’t try to get too close to others.
Because I was afraid of being hit, I stopped daring to oppose Platoon Leader Garback.
“If you’re that scared, you should just stay holed up in the hospital. Don’t come out to the front lines.”
“Hey, hey, how can you say that to Touri, who came all this way to treat us while suppressing her fear? You’ll get abandoned if you end up getting injured, you know?”
“I-I would be happy to die on the battlefield. I’ll take as many enemies as I can with me.”
I’m sure it’s because I’m a coward that he dislikes me so much.
I’m afraid of dying. I can’t say I’d be willing to die like him.
However, someone like Rodri may be perfectly suited to being an infantryman.
“If I’m going to die, I want it to be on my own terms.”
Senior Gray looked at Rodri’s confident words with eyes filled with pity.
***
“I’m back.”
Before long, Platoon Leader Garback returned to their base with a stern look on his face.
“I’ve secured the surrounding bases. Now we just need to wait for our allies to advance.”
“Thank you for your hard work.”
“Also, I was shot in the stomach. Touri, heal me.”
After saying that, Platoon Leader Garback immediately removed his gear and was left bare-chested.
…His body was a muscular frame marked by countless old gunshot wounds and cuts.
A dark red bruise had formed on his upper right abdomen, with blood seeping out steadily.
“…Isn’t that a fatal wound?”
“Yeah, hurry up and fix it.”
From what he said about being shot in the stomach, it looks like it was near the liver.
When I touched it, I could feel a pulsing sensation. There’s no doubt his liver had ruptured.
How can this guy walk with a body in this state?
“I-I need to perform emergency surgery. I’m going to do it using a technique I’ve only seen and haven’t learned, so please don’t haunt me if I fail and you die.”
“I don’t need your excuses; just don’t fail.”
This is a serious injury that requires intensive care. Just how reckless has this guy been?
There’s no time to worry about such things. If left alone, Platoon Leader Garback will die in the line of duty.
After administering anesthesia with an injection, I began to cut open his abdomen, recalling the procedures I’d seen the Chief perform.
“Hi, hiiii…”
“The enemy might come back soon. You need to finish this in under five minutes.”
“There’s no way that’s possible?!”
Blood gushed out like a waterfall. I frantically tried to cauterize the wound while desperately shoving my hand into the Platoon Leader’s stomach.
I didn’t have any surgical tools, so I used my gloved hand to forcibly grab the bullet that was lodged in his liver.
In addition, I cauterized the excessively bleeding blood vessels inside.
…Never have I been so grateful for being small. My smaller hands allowed me to proceed with the surgery more effectively.
I removed the necrotic parts of the damaged liver and sutured the areas that could be connected.
Finally, I asked my assistant, Rodri, to pour saline solution into the Platoon Leader’s abdomen to wash it out.
Since I could only apply topical anesthesia, it’s likely that Platoon Leader Garback is experiencing unimaginable pain…
“Umm…”
“If you have time to gauge my complexion, hurry up.”
It’s really scary how the Platoon Leader is calmly glaring at me without even flinching after such a gruesome treatment.
His complexion didn’t change at all, so it was impossible to tell how much blood he was losing or what his vital signs were.
In fact, please show how you’re feeling right now.
“…Phew, that’s the minimum treatment completed. Now, [Heal].”
“It’s over?”
I managed to roughly repair the ruptured shape of the liver, remove the bullet, and stop the bleeding.
All that’s left now is to pray that the healing magic worked well.
Was it really okay for an amateur like me to perform such an extremely difficult surgery with my bare hands?
Because the work was rushed with an emphasis on speed, I think there are many areas that remain undone.
“It’s over… I think.”
“Hmph.”
────I’m not sure if using [Heal] to forcefully stop the bleeding was the right thing to do.
After all, I’m probably the first person to operate in such a frontline situation.
“I can get up now, right?”
“No, given the severity of your injury, Platoon Leader, you’d normally need to remain in bed no matter what treatment you receive.”
“Hmm, I certainly feel much better now. With this, I can move forward.”
“You’re really supposed to be on complete bed rest…”
This guy really never listens to what I have to say.
Is he really planning to continue moving forward? Senior Gray can’t move anymore either, so let’s just be satisfied here.
“Platoon Leader, I believe it would be difficult for you to advance further due to your condition. I propose we secure this position and conclude the combat.”
“Rejected. We cannot let this opportunity slip away. Today’s offensive is a rare opportunity we haven’t had in years.”
I proposed ending the combat here, but Platoon Leader Garback wouldn’t accept it.
What was the reason for wanting to move forward even after performing surgery at the frontline?
“Platoon Leader, what do you mean by rare opportunity?”
“Hmph. Touri, what needs to happen to end this war?”
“…I think we need to capture the enemy’s capital.”
“That’s impossible. It’s not realistic.”
Platoon Leader Garback glared at me intensely.
“Touri, what is behind the enemy’s rear?”
“Behind? There should be enemy medical facilities and supplies of food and weapons.”
“Right. We will strike that today.”
Then, Platoon Leader Garback took out a small bottle from his chest.
Is it alcohol? He took it out and began to gulp it down without saying a word.
Drinking alcohol right after surgery… And right after his liver ruptured.
“Soldiers are people too. If they don’t get food or medical treatment, they can’t fight.”
“…”
“The very field hospital where you spend your days thinking it’s safe is the biggest target of attack for us soldiers on the front lines.”
Before I could stop him, Platoon Leader Garback downed the alcohol in one go and tossed the empty bottle aside.
“Are you saying you’ll kill non-combatants without mercy?”
“If we don’t do this, there will be no resolution to this war.”
“And that opportunity is today?”
“The enemy has been heavily depleted by the continuous offensives over the past few days. It seems their defenses are the weakest they have been in years.”
“…”
“If we can’t break through today, we don’t know when the next chance will come. That’s why we’ll push as far as we can today.”
Platoon Leader Garback said this as he sat down on a sandbag.
And then, looking up to the sky as if praying:
“I’ve secured the neighboring bases, now all we need is for our allies to catch up with us.”
He murmured.
***
After that, we waited in silence.
“…I sense the enemy again. I’ll go check the neighboring base.”
“Be careful.”
I’ve run out of magical power and am completely useless in this situation.
“Touri, please help me sit up a bit.”
“Yes, Senior.”
“Thank you.”
It would be too dangerous to retreat alone, and since I don’t have a weapon, there’s no point in staying on guard.
So I was reduced to being a caregiver for Senior Gray, who couldn’t move one of his arms and had lost a leg.
“Our allies are still not advancing?”
“I wonder…”
Despite his serious injury, Platoon Leader Garback occasionally went to the neighboring base, killing enemies before returning.
Then, he silently sat in front of the sandbags with me and Senior Gray.
“There’s been an order, wait a moment.”
“Yes.”
It was about 15 minutes after we had taken control of the base.
A message came in via the Platoon Leader’s magical communication device.
“…I see, understood.”
“Umm, Platoon Leader?”
After receiving that command, Platoon Leader Garback sighed deeply and looked up at the sky.
“We’re retreating. We have to abandon this base.”
It seemed that our allies had failed to break through the third defense line.
“Abandon, huh…?”
“The enemy will soon re-attack this base. Gather your things.”
Platoon Leader Garback was shaking his fist in frustration.
To have to abandon a base that we had secured with such desperate effort.
When I thought about it like that, I was overcome with a great sense of emptiness.
“Platoon Leader Garback…”
“What is it, Rodri?”
“What are you going to do with this person?”
Rodri asked after hearing the Platoon Leader’s orders.
“This person,” that is, one who had collapsed after losing his legs…
“Hmph. Gray, you understand, right?”
“Yes, I understand, Platoon Leader.”
That would be about Senior Gray.
That’s right, who will carry him?
It would ordinarily be Rodri, but would he have enough strength to run even 20 meters given that he’s a rookie?
“This one is the guarding our rear. Leave him here.”
Platoon Leader Garback glanced at Senior Gray who had lost his leg.
“Make sure we don’t get attacked from behind while we’re retreating. Defend this position with your life.”
That was the final order he gave Senior Gray.
Ozy Translations 
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